Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling

★★★★☆

Of all the books on my list of March Reads, I'm almost certain this is the one you recognise the most. I've decided to reread the Harry Potter series though not really in any particular order. 

It is definitely noticeable that Rowling's writing style improves with each book in the series and I honestly forgot exactly why I love this book. The amount of suspense and foreshadowing was incorporated incredibly throughout. One of my favourite aspects of Goblet of Fire is that we finally get to see more of an insight into witches and wizards around other parts of the world through the Triwizard Tournament. 

In this book, Harry really has to grow up quite quickly - not that he has a choice considering he had no control over being chosen for the Tournament. In spite of this, Rowling does a good job at reminding us of just how young Harry actually is; himself and Ron noticing the opposite sex as more than just students who fill up the classrooms, the troubles of his first crush, and even the fact there aren't always happy endings - need I mention a certain Cedric Diggory?

Not only does Goblet of Fire introduce new schools and environments, we meet a plethora of new characters, including Mad Eye Moody, Rita Skeeter and Winky the house-elf. I cannot wait to read the rest of the series and for those of you who haven't, I would definitely say give it a go - though actually do start with Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone like a normal person.

This Is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay

★★★☆☆

Filled with hilarious and shocking stories that make you physically cringe all the while laughing out loud, this book really puts into perspective how much help the NHS needs and how much pressure is put on the staff without much of a reward.

It is set out in the format of a diary, which made for easy reading however, at times I was given the feeling that I was stepping over the line by reading such personal stories of patients inserting extremely odd objects up their vagina - yes, really. With the personal stories of objects being in places they shouldn't be also come the personal stories that hit you hard, especially a certain memory that caused Kay to leave his position in the medical field.

Although this is the diary of a former doctor, there are footnotes for those of us who don't have a mental encyclopaedia of medical terms, though, admittedly, a few times I still wasn't confident I fully understood some of the definitions but that still didn't stop me enjoying the read. Would definitely recommend.

My Brother's Name is Jessica by John Boyne

★★☆☆☆

Written from the perspective of the younger brother of a transgender, we are given the story of how one family reacts to the change of the eldest sibling, a reaction that is sadly not a surprise considering the true stories we read about.

I have such mixed feelings about this book. With Boyne's book being released through Puffin - making this targeted at a younger audience - I think this is a good way to introduce children to the LGBTQ community. It opens up the chance for readers to ask more questions however, that is also one of the down sides to this book; too many questions are left unanswered. What Jessica is going through is skimmed over quite a bit and instead we learn more about what is happening with her parents' political campaign. Even though is is not written from Jessica's point of view, it could have still been possible for us to learn more about what is going on inside her mind.

Despite the ending coming around so suddenly with a disappointing conclusion, I would still recommend to a younger audience so they feel comfortable learning more about such an important subject. Boyne shows the consequences of fighting for what you believe in but in spite of the reactions, you should never stop being yourself.

The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour

★★★☆☆

I didn't expect to like this book as much as I did. It is the diary of Brooke Magnanti during her time as a London prostitute, documenting her day-to-day life that is far more racier than most people's.

The diary format makes this book interesting because there is no arc, no character development, no plot and no conclusion - and although this may sound like total crap for most people, I personally don't see this as a bad thing. This book is exactly what it says on the tin: a diary. I was hooked instantly at the casual mention of Belle's time with her clients. No detail is left behind in the bedroom. If you're not comfortable with sex - though if you're not then surely just the title would put you off - then this is not for you.

Clever, witty, hilarious and shameless in all the best ways, this is one to read if you want a good laugh and a little (read: a lot) filth thrown in.

I've enjoyed getting back into reading this month as I only read one book back in February and I'm hoping to stick with it going into April. I'm not sure how many books I will get through after starting my new job but I suppose one is better than none. What books did you get through this month?

As it was my birthday this week, I thought it would be good to sit down and reflect on the things I have learnt during my time on this planet we call home. It's nice to think about how much I can accomplish in the coming year compared to the last, and I cannot wait to see what position I'm in when it comes to my 22nd birthday - one thing I know for sure is that I'll be in Disney World, so that's something to look forward to! Now on to the list...

I've decided to take inspiration from Carrie Hope Fletcher, who posted a video simply talking about a list of things she was currently doing, and I thought I would sit down and write out my own take on the list. 

Currently I'm reading... Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Ah, one of my favourites. I was in a little bit of a reading rut and had no inspiration to get stuck into the never ending pile of books to be read on my shelf, and whenever I'm feeling like that, the only thing to get me back into the reading game is to open up an old favourite. It isn't my most loved book in the Potter series (Prisoner of Azkaban will always hold that spot) but I realised just how long it had been since I had actually opened this one up. I mean, there was even dust on the pages! I'm getting through this quickly and I can't believe how much I forgot happened... But I'm loving every second of it and I can't wait to re-read the whole series. You can stay up to date with the books I'm currently reading on my Goodreads here. 

Currently I'm watching... Lost

Again, another old favourite - minus the second half of the series. Seriously, don't even get me started. Lost has always been a series I go back to when I'm not sure what to watch next or sometimes I just get the sudden need for nostalgia. After speeding through the first three seasons, I've slowed down a little as I've gotten to the seasons that never should have been but I'm going to push through it and watch them all, no matter how long it takes!

Currently I'm feeling... Happy

Very recently I was offered a job I'd been hunting for for months. I was also elated to be given the information I was the only one who had been put forward for an interview, and the fact they rang barely ten minutes after said interview to offer me the job was just the cherry on top. I'm excited to start this new path in life and finally do something I actually have a passion for after years of being stuck in a job that seriously affected my mental wellbeing. Hopefully this job does me good.

Currently I'm proud of... Myself
In the last month, I quit my old job in retail without having another one to jump right into just because I couldn't stand being there any longer. If you've worked in retail before, you'll understand exactly how it feels to have the life drained from you just by stepping foot in that place. I then found myself a job to do with something I actually have an interest in. I did all of this without one freak out - I think that's something to be proud of.

Currently I'm grateful for... Netflix
This month without a job has been incredibly boring and I couldn't have gotten through it without the endless shows Netflix carries. I've managed to watch my way through so many shows, such as Orange is the New Black, Doctor Who, Peaky Blinders and That 70s Show. They're all old favourites but that doesn't mean they're any less entertaining. Being grateful for a streaming service makes me sound a little bit like a loser but that's my answer. So thanks, Netflix!

In a time where social media is almost impossible to avoid, it would be silly to assume it doesn't have an affect on us. I'm not making a revolutionary statement, merely just stating the facts. There have been numerous times where I have taken a break from all social media, whether that be getting rid of the app on my phone or deleting my account all together - the relief and sudden relaxation has been almost instant. 

Don’t get me wrong, social media is an incredible thing that has given countless people opportunities they couldn’t have even dreamed of. The creativity and connectivity given to us through a little app is amazing. It allows people to show off their skills within any industry and ultimately get noticed. But with that need to get noticed comes a sense of addiction. Even though I have never used social media for business, when I first made my accounts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I found myself constantly checking how many followers I had, as though every ten minutes I expected to double the amount. It was an unconscious thing. During times where I actually had things to do, my phone found its way into my hand so I could scroll aimlessly down my feed to see photoshopped celebrities on a holiday I would never be able to afford. If I had the opportunity to find out the total amount of time wasted on social media, I’d turn down the offer - it would more than likely make me feel sick.

Why are we so obsessed with how other people live their lives? I’d lose count if I had to check how many times I’ve asked myself that in the past. It becomes an even bigger concern when it involves people we don’t know and never will: celebrities. Especially celebrities who are prone to photoshopping every inch of their already perfect bodies or show off their wealth by posting photos of themselves covered in diamonds. Why should I care? There will always be a sense of envy should a photo pop up on my feed of someone living the ‘perfect’ life, which is why I decided to delete Instagram and Facebook not that long ago (yes, I did make a new Instagram account but more on that later). I realised I wasted so much time on Facebook finding out what old school friends (I use this term very loosely) were up to and if their online life seemed so much more successful than mine - both career and personal - I would just feel so crap about myself. If you thought that would stop me stalking these people even more, you thought wrong. It was an endless cycle that I’m sure a majority of you have gone through before. I hadn’t spoken to these people in years, so why did I care so much? It’s not that I actually did care, I think it was more to do with finding someone in the same situation as myself so I could stop feeling like my career was going nowhere. Instagram was on another level. I have always been an introvert and have never had an interest in drinking or girls' holidays or really posting much about my life online, but when it came to seeing both people I knew and didn’t know having great time, I began to wish I was in those friendship groups. At first, I simply unfollowed all the accounts that made me feel like I wanted to be someone I wasn’t but that wasn’t enough; I found myself still searching for them, wasting hours scrolling through photos and videos of a life I didn’t really want. It made me feel shit. So I deleted my accounts.

Admittedly, to begin with it was strange. I realised how addicted I had become to social media. Any spare minute I had, I found myself grabbing my phone to click on the apps I had deleted. It was a serious addiction, one I know so many people have too. In a sense, I was addicted to seeing how rubbish I could make myself feel. Comparing myself to others understandably affected my self-esteem, made me feel lonely and just completely dissatisfied with my life. It’s ironic that platforms known to connect people and increase social interactions can make one feel such things. Even research has shown that social media can decrease stable mental health and make you feel worse about yourself. I’m not surprised. If people are doing studies on it then why do people continue to post content that makes others feel completely awful? Yes, I know we can’t tell people what to post and granted, a lot of people are innocently showing their followers their day to day life… It all comes down to society and what is expected of us when it comes to our image. When I got rid of my social media accounts, I began to care a lot less about what I looked like, whether I was wearing clothes that were on trend and just felt a lot more… Free. 

As mentioned above, I did return to Instagram however I had three rules:

Some would say it’s a bit excessive but having felt the negative results of social media, I think they are necessary. Now having been back on social media for a number of months and having stuck to those rules, my experience has been a lot more positive. It’s important to note that I am not exempt from the bad days everyone goes through, I just make sure I stay away from Twitter and Instagram during that time - it has helped a lot. Despite all of this, social media has brought me closer to friends I rarely see and has even introduced me to new people who I speak to on a daily basis. Also, I must admit that I’m partial to the odd meme and having no access to the best ones on Facebook and Instagram was not fun.

Let me know your thoughts on social media down below.

You're about to turn eleven. It's your last year of primary school and it's time to go out with a bang. You're going to have an amazing fancy dress birthday party and don't worry, even though you warned every one not to dress up as Hannah Montana (because that costume is for you and you only) one of the boys will do it but you will laugh it off and enjoy the night. Stop fretting. Being the only Hannah Montana isn't everything. I should offer you some advice though: take in the memories of your best friends because in ten years' time - or barely even two years' later - you won't speak to them. Not because of arguments or childish high school drama... Friendships just fade. Even the best friend you've had since the first week of school won't be in your life anymore. Those matching prom dresses you promised you'd have and the house you would one day share won't happen. And that's okay. Don't worry about it too much because you'll still cheer them on whenever you see them talk on social media about any achievement they've accomplished or give them a virtual hug whenever they break up with that boy you didn't even know they were with. The friendships won't last but the love will stay.

High school won't be for you. Your confidence will disappear and you will struggle to speak up in class because you feel everyone is looking at your teeth. Everyone has weird teeth. Get over it. Yes, yours invited a lot of questions (even more so when the long-awaited braces arrived) but by the time you leave school, you'll barely even remember what it was like to be able to entertain with that Nanny McPhee impression. Even your new best friend won't remember. No one will. So loosen up. Yes, it's hard to do that when you have weird teeth and boobs someone twice your age would kill for (and ones you would happily give away) but you would enjoy life so much more if you just relaxed. The problems you have are fixable; you will get your braces and you will get your breast reduction. It will happen. So stop comparing yourself to other girls. Stop comparing yourself to ones with a smaller chest or nicer hair or a larger friendship group or better grades - just stop it. The stress of getting as good grades as your brothers and the pressure of what career you will go down will get to you and you won't admit it to anyone, even when you carry that darkness over into college enough to make you stop going. You will hate every second of it and spend your days in bed, wanting to sleep away the day just so you didn't have to go in and feel stupid when everyone gets better grades than you, and talk about exactly what they will do at university to get a degree for a job they have wanted all their lives. You will lie to your parents without any remorse about the reasons you don't attend, excuses you will interchange to match the day. It will be rough but you will get through it.

Listen to your parents. As much as you think you know best, you don't. Trust me, they do. Sometimes you will ask for advice and they will both give different opinions but trust them both and go with your gut. You will argue with your mum and you won't see your dad as much, though you will put the effort in and you will become a lot closer. Don't lie to them, either. Parents have this strange sixth sense for it and even when you think you've gotten away with it, you haven't. Parents are weird like that - they know everything. So stop lying about college and open up about why you detest it so much. Despite what you think, they will be proud of you. As they should be. You will be the peace maker in the family and even though there will be times where you stay up all night worrying about matters that turn out not to be all that important, you will still manage to sort everyone out to the best of your ability. But remember, stop trying to make peace when you have more important things to do.

You will have one friend. She will be the one friend who sticks by you all through high school and even to this day will be the one you need, and one who needs you. There will be acquaintances and countless people you talk to every day in college but once you leave, it will just be you and her. There will be days where you don't talk or weeks where only a handful of messages are sent or even months where you don't see each other... But she will still be your best friend. So stop with the jealousy when she mentions classmates at university while you sit at home all day talking to no one, and stop with the worrying that you will one day never speak again. Her new friends won't have the memories of waiting four hours together to see The Fault in Our Stars or have heated debates over whether Twilight or The Hunger Games is better or her clear disgust at nearly every boy you find mildly attractive at school. There will be people at work who you talk to all the time but you will eventually realise the only things you talk about are work, and the contact will abruptly stop the day you leave your job; you will realise what true friendship is. All I can say is, it's not about quantity.

Things will work themselves out. It's okay not to know exactly what you want to do, just know that it will eventually come to you. Stop envying those who go to university straight after college or those who post their travelling photos all over Instagram; you don't need all that. All those years of writing in your spare time from the age of four will pay off and you will develop a love that will progress into a passion for a career in publishing. You will get an internship at one of the world's most known publishing houses that will give you that kick to leave your terrible job and search for something you really want to do. It will be scary but it will be okay. You quit and get 'the fear', as Joey Tribbiani would say. (Side note - you won't ever get sick of Friends, so don't worry). There will be plenty of times where you regret your decision to leave your job but understand that it is the best decision you will make; no job is worth not being happy.

If you take just one thing from this letter, I hope it is to stop worrying. It's such a waste of time. And also, please don't get that fringe you think will be the making of you. Oh God, please don't get that fringe.

Good luck.

C x

The Truth About Keeping Secrets tells the story of Sydney, a teenage girl who has suddenly come to experience grief after her therapist father is killed in a car accident. Set in Ohio, this sad and honest thriller explores mental health, love and friendship all the while trying to find the truth behind such sudden death.

I have mixed feelings on this book. The first half centres around the grief and fear of death Sydney encounters after the shocking and unexpected events that cause her to be left with only her mother, giving the reader an eye into the unique coping mechanisms one can develop after such trauma. We delve into her mind and see the gruesome way in which she copes: obsessively scrolling through a website which posts surveillance footage of deadly road accidents. At times, it can be an uncomfortable read but it's nothing compared to how anyone going through this heartache would feel.

Early on in the book Sydney meets June; the golden girl and a patient of her father's who is unquestionably hiding something. This new friendship grows into fascination and an obsession on Sydney's part, with the 20 minute daily car ride they share being the only moments of joy she has. It is a repetitive cycle of the question 'does she love me back?' being thrown around that caused the struggle for me to really fight for this friendship. June was a hard character for me to warm to. When she is first introduced, we are given the impression she is liked by everyone and could do no wrong - an opinion that slowly crumbled as we began to learn about June's story. When these details did arise, it added so much to her character that I wish hadn't been confined to the last few chapters of the book and instead, sprinkled around from the beginning to make June more human.

When we get to the second half, the mystery of Sydney's father's death really comes into play. We discover more about the mysterious texts she has been receiving since the funeral and understand that everyone, even the ones you love, have dark secrets. I sped through this half of the book but was still left feeling underwhelmed with the predictable pinnacle. Various pieces of information scattered around the chapters made my theory even more strong when it came to guessing the final outcome, however I would not let this put you off reading 'The Truth About Keeping Secrets'.

Savannah Brown does a good job at ensuring the secrets of the characters only come out at significant points in the book to piece everything together, although we could have been given a little more information throughout. She has a unique way of combining beautiful descriptions with occasionally simple sentences to mirror the protagonist's age in a way even older readers can relate to. It is a slow starter and unfortunately only picks up towards the second half but I would still recommend you add it to your list of books to get through this year. 'The Truth About Keeping Secrets' is well planned and is filled with delicate paragraphs and turns of phrase that made it a pleasure to read.

The Truth About Keeping Secrets comes out March 2019. You can pre-order here.

*I received this book from Penguin Random House. It is possible this will not be the final edited edition and future editions could change my review.