Dear Ciara,
You're about to turn eleven. It's your last year of primary school and it's time to go out with a bang. You're going to have an amazing fancy dress birthday party and don't worry, even though you warned every one not to dress up as Hannah Montana (because that costume is for you and you only) one of the boys will do it but you will laugh it off and enjoy the night. Stop fretting. Being the only Hannah Montana isn't everything. I should offer you some advice though: take in the memories of your best friends because in ten years' time - or barely even two years' later - you won't speak to them. Not because of arguments or childish high school drama... Friendships just fade. Even the best friend you've had since the first week of school won't be in your life anymore. Those matching prom dresses you promised you'd have and the house you would one day share won't happen. And that's okay. Don't worry about it too much because you'll still cheer them on whenever you see them talk on social media about any achievement they've accomplished or give them a virtual hug whenever they break up with that boy you didn't even know they were with. The friendships won't last but the love will stay.
High school won't be for you. Your confidence will disappear and you will struggle to speak up in class because you feel everyone is looking at your teeth. Everyone has weird teeth. Get over it. Yes, yours invited a lot of questions (even more so when the long-awaited braces arrived) but by the time you leave school, you'll barely even remember what it was like to be able to entertain with that Nanny McPhee impression. Even your new best friend won't remember. No one will. So loosen up. Yes, it's hard to do that when you have weird teeth and boobs someone twice your age would kill for (and ones you would happily give away) but you would enjoy life so much more if you just relaxed. The problems you have are fixable; you will get your braces and you will get your breast reduction. It will happen. So stop comparing yourself to other girls. Stop comparing yourself to ones with a smaller chest or nicer hair or a larger friendship group or better grades - just stop it. The stress of getting as good grades as your brothers and the pressure of what career you will go down will get to you and you won't admit it to anyone, even when you carry that darkness over into college enough to make you stop going. You will hate every second of it and spend your days in bed, wanting to sleep away the day just so you didn't have to go in and feel stupid when everyone gets better grades than you, and talk about exactly what they will do at university to get a degree for a job they have wanted all their lives. You will lie to your parents without any remorse about the reasons you don't attend, excuses you will interchange to match the day. It will be rough but you will get through it.
Listen to your parents. As much as you think you know best, you don't. Trust me, they do. Sometimes you will ask for advice and they will both give different opinions but trust them both and go with your gut. You will argue with your mum and you won't see your dad as much, though you will put the effort in and you will become a lot closer. Don't lie to them, either. Parents have this strange sixth sense for it and even when you think you've gotten away with it, you haven't. Parents are weird like that - they know everything. So stop lying about college and open up about why you detest it so much. Despite what you think, they will be proud of you. As they should be. You will be the peace maker in the family and even though there will be times where you stay up all night worrying about matters that turn out not to be all that important, you will still manage to sort everyone out to the best of your ability. But remember, stop trying to make peace when you have more important things to do.
Listen to your parents. As much as you think you know best, you don't. Trust me, they do. Sometimes you will ask for advice and they will both give different opinions but trust them both and go with your gut. You will argue with your mum and you won't see your dad as much, though you will put the effort in and you will become a lot closer. Don't lie to them, either. Parents have this strange sixth sense for it and even when you think you've gotten away with it, you haven't. Parents are weird like that - they know everything. So stop lying about college and open up about why you detest it so much. Despite what you think, they will be proud of you. As they should be. You will be the peace maker in the family and even though there will be times where you stay up all night worrying about matters that turn out not to be all that important, you will still manage to sort everyone out to the best of your ability. But remember, stop trying to make peace when you have more important things to do.
You will have one friend. She will be the one friend who sticks by you all through high school and even to this day will be the one you need, and one who needs you. There will be acquaintances and countless people you talk to every day in college but once you leave, it will just be you and her. There will be days where you don't talk or weeks where only a handful of messages are sent or even months where you don't see each other... But she will still be your best friend. So stop with the jealousy when she mentions classmates at university while you sit at home all day talking to no one, and stop with the worrying that you will one day never speak again. Her new friends won't have the memories of waiting four hours together to see The Fault in Our Stars or have heated debates over whether Twilight or The Hunger Games is better or her clear disgust at nearly every boy you find mildly attractive at school. There will be people at work who you talk to all the time but you will eventually realise the only things you talk about are work, and the contact will abruptly stop the day you leave your job; you will realise what true friendship is. All I can say is, it's not about quantity.
Things will work themselves out. It's okay not to know exactly what you want to do, just know that it will eventually come to you. Stop envying those who go to university straight after college or those who post their travelling photos all over Instagram; you don't need all that. All those years of writing in your spare time from the age of four will pay off and you will develop a love that will progress into a passion for a career in publishing. You will get an internship at one of the world's most known publishing houses that will give you that kick to leave your terrible job and search for something you really want to do. It will be scary but it will be okay. You quit and get 'the fear', as Joey Tribbiani would say. (Side note - you won't ever get sick of Friends, so don't worry). There will be plenty of times where you regret your decision to leave your job but understand that it is the best decision you will make; no job is worth not being happy.
If you take just one thing from this letter, I hope it is to stop worrying. It's such a waste of time. And also, please don't get that fringe you think will be the making of you. Oh God, please don't get that fringe.
Good luck.
C x
Things will work themselves out. It's okay not to know exactly what you want to do, just know that it will eventually come to you. Stop envying those who go to university straight after college or those who post their travelling photos all over Instagram; you don't need all that. All those years of writing in your spare time from the age of four will pay off and you will develop a love that will progress into a passion for a career in publishing. You will get an internship at one of the world's most known publishing houses that will give you that kick to leave your terrible job and search for something you really want to do. It will be scary but it will be okay. You quit and get 'the fear', as Joey Tribbiani would say. (Side note - you won't ever get sick of Friends, so don't worry). There will be plenty of times where you regret your decision to leave your job but understand that it is the best decision you will make; no job is worth not being happy.
If you take just one thing from this letter, I hope it is to stop worrying. It's such a waste of time. And also, please don't get that fringe you think will be the making of you. Oh God, please don't get that fringe.
Good luck.
C x
