★★★★★
Palestine, 1990: Seventeen-year-old Isra prefers reading books to entertaining her suitors her father has chosen for her. Over the course of a week, the naive and dreamy girl finds herself quickly betrothed and married to a man over ten years her senior, and is soon living in Brooklyn with his family. There, Isra struggles to adapt to the new country where the expectations from her new mother-in-law, Fareeda, overwhelm her. A son is what she needs to bring to the family, Isra is told every day. But are four daughters not good enough?
Brooklyn, 2008: Eighteen-year-old Deya, Isra’s oldest daughter, must meet with potential husbands at her grandmother’s insistence, though her only desire is to go to college and get an education. However, her grandmother is firm on the matter: the only way to secure a worthy future for a woman is through marriage to the right man. Fate has a will of its own, and soon Deya finds herself on an unexpected path that leads her to shaking truths about her family.
First and foremost, it must be known that this book isn’t the most comfortable read. There are multiple mentions of domestic abuse and rape, so if those trigger you in any way, don’t read it.
This book was phenomenal, and I don’t say that lightly. As a white, privileged woman, I know I cannot and will never be able to truly understand what it’s like to be a Palestinian Muslin who is brought up in a family with such strong views about reputation and keeping their culture alive. However, Rum does a brilliant job in making the reader forget their own background and upbringing so they can completely connect with every character.
We go through different timelines of the female characters, though Rum cleverly entwines the individual stories in a way that, after the last page, I had to go and sit on my own with my thoughts for a while because the entire story impacted me so much. The very last page sent goosebumps along my whole body and completely ripped my heart out. It completely broke me. It left me with an immense sadness inside that I knew was nothing compared to the characters’ or women in real life whose own story this is.
The fear I felt for the characters, especially Isra, made me want to jump into the book, take her into my arms and shield her with everything I have. Her circumstances aren't uncommon, and that's what makes this book so powerful. When we learn more about her new family and the circumstances they have gone through to get them to where they are now, there is always a sense of sadness for each person. Fareeda and the loss she went through; Khaled and the guilt he feels every day; Adam and the pressure put on him by his mother to take care of the entire family even if means abandoning his own; Sarah and the desperation to break free; Deya and her suffocating grandparents who refuse to listen; and Isra, who was thrust into a life of craving love she never received.
The writing is beautiful, thoroughly captivating and made me feel emotions I’d never felt before.
Filled with heartbreak, devastating sadness and hope, A Woman Is No Man will have you reflecting on the life of women across the world for days.
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